The Tale of the Burning Stench

Last weekend, we had a few friends over on Saturday evening for dinner and some board games. When it's not the summer, we try to do that once a month or so, and last weekend marked the very first one after the summer craziness had mostly ended. It was also the first time that we were hosting it, since our prior apartment couldn't hold eight adults and four kids. I guess you could say it was a trial run for us and our house.

Side note: we do a thorough house-clean every two weeks on Saturday. We'll wake up Saturday morning, eat our cereal, put on some junky clothes, and clean. This Saturday morning happened to be a cleaning day, so we did exactly that, plus running the dishwasher and some weeding/Round-Up. It also should be mentioned that I mowed the lawn for the very first time in my life that day, but that doesn't play a part in this story. I'm just amazed that I got through 25.5 years without managing to do that. #brothers.

Eventually, we finished both the inside and outside work and collapsed on the couch momentarily before going to get ourselves cleaned up for the day. Carefully. We didn't want to get outside dirt/cleaning products/sweat on the couch. I was gearing myself up to launch myself off of the couch when I suddenly noticed something.

J: "Do you smell...burning?"

C: "Yeah...let's check the basement."

J: "No, it's stronger in the kitchen."

C: "Oh wait - is that the dishwasher??"

Sure enough, we opened the dishwasher and out poured a cloud of very likely toxic steam that I promptly inhaled. Sick. At the bottom of the dishwasher, right below the heating ring, was a puddle of black, dripping, disgusting goo that was giving off the most foul odor, which was now wafting into our nice clean house. Turns out, Nalgene water bottles are NOT INDESTRUCTIBLE. Or at least their plastic lids are entirely destructible when they make prolonged contact with hot metal heating rings. 

We scraped it up as best we could with a wooden spoon (that will never be the same, unfortunately) and let the dishwasher finish its work on the rest of the non-destroyed dishes, and I opened all the downstairs windows, figuring that the ungodly scent would dissipate in short order.

The leftover evidence - not what you want to have sitting in your dishwasher, but it will. not. come. off.

Afterward, we got ready for the day, and I ran a couple of errands in preparation of having people over that evening. But when I came back in through the door, the smell of burnt plastic hit me in the face as soon as I opened the door. No! I thought. This is NOT the way our house should smell on our trial game night! So I pulled out every candle I could find in the house and lit them all. 

About an hour later, Chaz looked up from his book, sniffed the air, and said, "You know...I think it's time to blow out the candles. We don't want it to smell like the Yankee Candle store in here." 

When people arrived that evening, no one commented on the smell, so it had either disappeared or they were just being nice. The smell really is gone now, but if you open the dishwasher, you may still catch faint traces of the stink. So a word to the wise: if you're having guests over, make sure to wash all of your plastic dishware at least a day before they arrive.

Do Over

Yesterday turned out to be just one of those days. You know...the kind when you heave yourself into bed at the very end of the day, feeling like you accomplished very little, but you're as tired as if you had run a marathon. The worst part was that it was entirely self-inflicted. I spent far too long running frivolous errands that ended with me arriving at home after 8:00 with no more to show for my erranding efforts than cereal + milk, ground beef, and replenished facewash. 

We ended up doing independent dinner, since neither of us really wanted to sit down and have something more formal. Chaz was working on my car - the brake pads needed to be replaced - and he had already driven to Connecticut and back that day for a work trip. (I should point out here that not every husband would be on the road for work all day, come home, and immediately start working on his wife's car. I won the husband jackpot, I say!) So at some point in the evening, each one of us partook of the newly-acquired cereal + milk from the errands and that was dinner.

That's not to say that yesterday was all bad. It was a beautiful day: 80 degrees and sunny, and the most glorious golden hour happened while I was driving around like a madwoman. In addition, I got to catch up with a most dear friend who lives farther away than either of us would like. Nevertheless, I was glad to see the golden hour slowly melt into dusk, and crawling into bed, perhaps earlier than normal, was a relief. 

Today started out bright and sunny. Yesterday did too, but today especially felt like a fresh start. There's no need to run around after work; that was yesterday's business and since it's over, we can carry on. And for that I'm grateful. Happy Thursday.

Fashion Problems

I started writing about politics today, and then I decided that a) my thoughts weren't quite well-formed enough to make a compelling...thing (case in point), and b) that's far too heavy for a Wednesday morning. Instead, I'm writing about my corduroy dilemma. 

Here's the deal: I have three pairs of pants: one pair of good jeans, one pair of less good/work outside jeans, and one pair of black pants. That's alright, but I really want to add a pair of corduroys to round out my small collection. Usually, Gap is my go-to place for pants. Here's what they've got...

Option 1: A pair of skinny cords in a good color, but that look too tight even for the size 00 model.

Option 2: A pair of boot cut cords in an ok fit, but in no good colors:

Nordstrom had some options, but they were about $150 too expensive. J.Crew also had some good options, but I know from past experience that unless they're juuuuust the right pair, they're always going to be about two inches too short on me. They've also got the same problem as Nordstrom + pricing, but they're a bit more likely to have a decent sale. 

So tell me! Are cords just not cool anymore? Should I wait until next year? Or are there other places that will have good options? Maybe it's too early in the season and all the good cords are coming later? This is clearly a matter of life or death.

Portrait of a Business Trip

By this time, it's a generally known fact that I take a lot of business trips over the summer.  Thus, because I'm totally positive that you must be interested in every second of what happens on one of those trips, here's a recap. 

There are three things to arrange ahead of time: plane ticket, hotel, and transportation. Normally, transportation means a rental car, but that might be either a train (if in Europe) or other public transportation (if anywhere else near a city) depending on where you're going. At my best, I'll arrange that a month or two before the trip. At my worst, well...let's just say I've booked a rental car while flying on a plane with wi-fi. That's never a good idea though, because they have absolutely no incentive to give you a good rate. 

Three quick recommendations: for flights, sign up to get miles from a couple different airlines. I try to always fly JetBlue in the US and American outside the US, because miles have pretty great benefits if you stock up over time.

For hotels, Hotels.com is also really good. They have a lot of hotels to pick from, and for every 10 nights you stay at a hotel booked through them, you get a free night! 

For rental cars, I recently discovered Sixt. Their cars were new and clean, I got a better car for the amount paid each time, their customer service is really friendly, and most importantly, their lines move about 50% faster than all the others. What more could you want from a rental car company?

I usually pack the morning of the trip, because I'm a procrastinator. Fact of life. I'm also a pretty minimalist packer, so a carry on + a personal item is more than enough room. I'll get to the airport around 1.5 hours before leaving, where I'll often meet up with anyone else who's going on the trip. 

Obviously, flying on a plane is flying on a plane. Nothing earth-shattering to report there. Except! JetBlue has FREE wi-fi on some of their planes. Best perk of all time.

Eventually, we get to the hotel and I usually collapse before getting ready for bed.

Doing this is always a bad idea, because it takes me about 30 extra minutes to motivate myself to get myself back up again and ready for bed. 

Eventually I'll get myself there though, and the next morning, we'll head to the school, where we'll train all day long. I looooove having co-workers along with me, because it makes the day go so much faster when you get to share training with someone else. At the very least, it's nice to not end the day with a sore throat!

Explaining a database is just that exciting. Let me tell you ALL about it!

Depending on the school, the time we finish varies. If I'm by myself, I'll usually go somewhere else, spend an hour or two catching up on the other things that have happened during the day, find some food, go back to the hotel and watch junk tv (I watch the Bachelor on business trips - don't judge), and fall asleep. If I'm with someone else, we'll try to go see some of the sights. 

Usually we'll be wherever we are for two or three days, and when that's all over, we'll fly home.

And now you know how I spend a lot of time in the summer. Your life will never be the same.

Homemade Ice Cream

About 3.5 years ago, Chaz gave me an ice cream maker for my birthday. In that time, I've probably only made ice cream three times. That all changed this weekend, because we hosted a game night and I was tired of making cookies, which is my usual go-to. 

Despite the fact that ice cream wasn't in my usual rotation of homemade desserts, I kept the bowl of my ice cream maker in the freezer at all times. Since it's always in there (and always has been in there since the earliest days of bachelorette-hood, when I didn't stock much food), I don't feel like I'm losing space in the freezer because of it. It's a mind trick though, because it totally takes up room. Nevertheless, it's totally going to stay there for the time being because there aren't many things worse than wanting to make homemade ice cream on a whim and then realizing you need to wait at least eight hours for the bowl to freeze. In addition, I don't have extra space in my kitchen to store the thing, so that may be the real reason.

Given that the bowl had been frozen for years, I really don't know why I haven't made more ice cream. It's as easy as pie! Easier, in fact. Pie isn't actually that easy. The ice cream base only has four ingredients!

1. Heavy cream
2. Eggs
3. Sugar
4. Milk

After that, you can decide what else you want to put in. I made two flavors: mint oreo and cookies and cream.

I always pose with my ingredients before cooking...don't you?

FIrst, you whip the eggs until they're light and fluffy. Then you add your sugar, a little at a time, until it's fully mixed with the eggs. Next you add your cream and milk, and then after a bit more mixing, you dump it into your ice cream maker until it does its thing and produces delicious ice cream.

If you want to make a different flavor base, you'll need to mix that in before putting it into the ice cream maker. For mint, I just used peppermint extract, and for the cookies and cream, I used vanilla extract. 

As for the chunks, you'll want to wait until the ice cream is almost done before throwing those into your ice cream maker. If you put them in ahead of time, they'll just sink to the bottom and, though it wouldn't be nonredeemable, it would be less good.

Maybe your ice cream maker is magical, but mine can only get it to a soft-serve consistency. To make it more like "hard" ice cream, it's best to stick it in the freezer for awhile so that it can get as solid as ice cream you buy in the store. And there you have it - How to Make Ice Cream 101. And just because I'm from Vermont, I need to put in a plug for this ice cream recipe book:

It's $7.00 on Amazon, and you can't go wrong. It may just be the best $7.00 that you'll ever spend. Now go make some ice cream!

Recent Thoughts: Part 3 (the last one)

I want to be a more gracious person. I think I'm going to make it my goal for the year to strive toward that. I've been shown so much grace myself...how could I not return it? 

I think of graciousness as a rolled-up combination of humility, joy, gratitude, empathy, and self-confidence. The self-confidence part isn't always easy for me. Occasionally, for example, someone will pay me a compliment. That type of thing is so very appreciated, but my automatic response is to say something along the lines of "Oh no, I don't deserve that for xxxx reason." Especially with music performances, that response is hard to avoid, because anything other than that feels like I'm saying, Yes, thank you, I am the greatest musician of all time. Thank you for recognizing my greatness. In reality though, there's a third option that normally escapes me in the moment. The most natural response would be to say thank you with warmth and affection, and then move on.

Self-deprecation is such an easy trap to fall into. The line between that and humility is a fine one, except that self-deprecation lies at the Selfish end of the spectrum and humility lies at the Selfless end. I'm a highly skilled self-deprecator. So my goal is to become a humble recipient and a fearless giver of grace. Nota bene: this is a long-term goal; no one can effect that type of change overnight change

I'm also fortunate, because my friend Steph is the most gracious person I know, so I have a good role model already built in. She makes every person she meets feel seen and valued, and that, I think, is the outward embodiment of graciousness. 

Once we lucked out and got to go to a Smithsonian on a business trip. 

So there you have it. All of my recent thoughts. You can decide if they're related or not! And I'll go back to regular programming (you know - stories of making homemade ice cream and things) on Monday. Or maybe tomorrow, because this blog appears to be officially back in business.

Recent Thoughts: Part 2

I think it's partly built into our educational structure that school = learning and no school = no learning. Or maybe that's just me. But either way, I've sort of assumed that now that I'm done with school, I've made it to the end of the learning marathon, and now all the running is done. No more learning for me. 16 years of formal education is all I need for the rest of my life.

Unfortunately, it's taken me approximately four years to dig myself out of that rather embarrassing hole of an assumption, with the added assistance of an article I read recently about a guy with no experience who decided to build a boat. It was a good article. He described how he got the idea to build a little boat while walking on the beach with his son, and after some thought, he decided to go for it. Over the five months it took him to build the boat, he started learning how to do woodworking and grew to love it. Because he loved it so much, he built many things in between working on the boat, and by the end, he had some reasonable skill and a new lifelong hobby. 

In a world that prizes excellence, I've found that it's difficult for me to start something new if I know my first attempt is not going to be stellar. I should know better, being a musician (albeit a musician on somewhat of a hiatus at the moment). I can't expect to pick up an instrument and be a prodigy, so this idea that I should be immediately successful at whatever else strikes my fancy is ludicrous. But between the idea of having laughable first attempts plus the assumption that learning is over forever was enough to keep me from trying new things. And that, I finally concluded, is no way to live life. 

So finally, following the banishment of those two ideas, I've started recovering, and it's been great fun to rediscover some long-dormant hobbies. I'm certainly not the best seamstress or photographer, and I may never be able to make a living off of either of those two things, but I may turn into a really fantastic novice. And for now, that's enough. 

Dabbling in photography since at least 2011.

Recent Thoughts: Part 1

I've had three separate topics of thought bouncing around in my head lately. I can't decide if they're related or not, but I figured I'd put them all in one blog post to find out. Backwards? I'm sure if I asked an English teacher, he'd say that the purpose of writing a paper would be to denote pre-organized thoughts, and since I'm using a blog post to create order out of chaos...well, I'd flunk the English exam. Nevertheless, onward we go.

Number 1: screen time. For years, but especially lately, I've felt a somewhat constant dissatisfaction with how often I felt like I was tethered to my phone. I'd wake up in the morning and reach for it immediately, the brightness of the screen forcing me awake before my brain caught up. I'd use it while waiting for anything - Instagram, Facebook, Bloglovin', all while standing in line at the grocery store, or waiting for Chaz to finish something at home. It would be the last thing I looked at before going to sleep, and again the brightness of the screen would keep me awake for longer than necessary. In other words, it was causing me to lose sleep and lose a connection with the world and I wasn't even recognizing it.

In addition, I felt like I had no opportunity for creative output anymore. Instead, I had exchanged that opportunity for the constant input of the thoughts and ideas of the rest of the world. And with no creativity left, it was easy to start believing that I had nothing worthwhile to offer. Everyone is more creative/thoughtful/exciting/fill-in-the-blank than I am, or so the thought process went, and shortly thereafter I'd be rolling in a deep mire of self-deprecation and pity like a pig in mud.

Over time I started to notice both my changed attitude about life and the disconnect with my surroundings. I didn't feel exactly whole anymore, and I think the constant input of noise from news articles, political blogs, Facebook status updates, and other things that I was using as an "escape" was actually causing me to forget how to look at the life right in front of me and engage myself in it. 

So I'm saying, "Enough." I established a 50-minute rule: no phone 50 minutes before going to bed and no phone within 50 minutes after getting up. Admittedly, that idea was stolen from an article I read (yes, on my phone shortly before going to bed), but it was a good idea and one worth implementing immediately. And within literally one day, I felt much more free. I guess phone addiction is real. Hi, my name is Jillian and I'm a phone addict. But at least I'm a recovering one.

This picture has nothing to do with not having a phone, because I took it on my phone.

Since I just took up four full paragraphs with just item number 1, the whole topic is clearly going to need to be three separate posts. No one wants to read nine paragraphs of me rambling. But I AM curious...has anyone else felt the same way? Have you figured out the right balance of life and technology? Tell me your secrets, people!

Catching Up with Common Sense

Believe or not, but the TSA has invented something that just might be the greatest thing since sliced bread. I don't think that's an exaggeration, because let's be honest...most of the best inventions came before sliced bread. The wheel? Toothbrushes? Keys? All before sliced bread.

Two words: TSA Precheck. Or TSA Pre✓, if you want to be totally literal.

[source]

I discovered the magic this summer while traveling for work...but it wasn't because I had it myself. No, why would I take the easy route? Instead, I was stuck going through normal security while my two coworkers breezed through in five minutes or less with their own special line.

This picture was actually taken before we went through security at the Reagan airport in DC, but this is exactly how they felt afterward while they were waiting for me.

Here's what happens. You fill out an application online and then schedule an appointment for an in-person interview of sorts. On the day of your appointment, you go to wherever that appointment is, answer a couple of questions, pay a fee, and you're good to go through security for the next five years with a special line, no need to take your shoes off, no need to take your computer out of your bag, no need to remove your jacket, and five extra springs in your step PER TRIP because you just saved yourself time and the humiliation of someone patting you down because you had a few bobby pins in your hair. Because that happens and it's way awkward.

So finally, Chaz and I came to our senses and filled out the application on Monday. Our in-person appointment was this morning, and now, or at least within 45 days, we will officially each have a Known Traveler Number and can enjoy all the benefits of the government being aware of the fact that we aren't bent on destroying things en route to a school to train them on how to use software. Or vacation, I suppose.

Heading in...

They don't let you have a phone out while you're doing the short interview (for obvious reasons), so I can't give you any fantastically enthralling images of the nice lady taking my fingerprints or me filling out a survey, but that's pretty much all it takes. Aside from the fee and the slight inconvenience of the fact that the TSA Precheck booth is only open during regular business hours, there no reason not to do it. I mean, look how happy we were walking out! Don't you want to experience that kind of joy when traveling?

Arguably, I can't really profess the full benefits until we actually get the number and try it out for the first time, but you can count on getting an update when that day comes. Won't that be the most interesting blog post? Don't get too excited.

Autumn is coming...

I'm going to be totally unique here and mention that I am beyond excited that fall is around the corner. In fact, I continue to wear clothing that's slightly too warm for the current weather simply because I wish it to be cooler. Doing so earns me nothing but extra sweat, but by Jove, I am prepared for cooler weather whether it's here or not. 

The Christmas Tree Shop(pe) was ready a full month ago, though. They're ambitious, those folks. 

I tried to make myself a summer bucket list. I wanted to go on a picnic, even if it was in our yard. I wanted to take a canoe down the river nearby. I wanted to go outside and look at the stars on a clear night. And I did zero of the items on that list. Instead I traveled for work,  and while that was fun in its own way, I ended up feeling like I missed summer entirely. As a result, I am DETERMINED(!) to avoid that pitfall this season. So, without further ado, I present to you my fall bucket list:

1. Pick apples.
2. Bake apple pie.
3. Eat a fresh cider donut.
4. Host a bonfire to make s'mores.

That's all I've got, and every single item on there involves food. It seems achievable, but given my deplorable summer bucket list status, I figured I'd keep it in the "everyone gets a trophy" realm as opposed to going for an Olympic gold. Hold me to it, ok? Now...what's on YOUR list?

Four Years

Four years ago today, Chaz and I were hosting a Friday night dinner party. We weren't dating, but we had started spending much more time around each other over the preceding three weeks, so I guess you could say that we both knew something was up. We had gone grocery shopping the night before - green and red peppers, alfredo sauce, chicken, noodles, and enough apple crisp materials to feed a crowd of seven. We talked as we prepared the food. He told me about a childhood house fire, and I told him about traveling with various musical ensembles. (The house fire was a far more interesting story than the traveling.)

People started to arrive as we were finishing up the cooking around 7:00. We sat down at the table to eat, and I remember thinking that I was disappointed with the flavor of the alfredo stir fry. It was too watery, but I knew I could make up for it with the apple crisp. After dinner, we played some ping pong and explored the house (setting: house-sitting for our boss), and people started to trickle out around 10:00. 

Eventually, we were the only ones left, facing a pile of dirty dishes and pots and pans in the sink. Our conversation finally got to a point where we could not longer avoid the giant question hanging over our heads, so we sat down on the couch and started talking in earnest.

After two hours, we had talked our way through a year and a half of confusion, a week of reintroduction, and two weeks of spending time together. He told me how he felt, but in an act of unmerited graciousness, he left the final decision up to me. And in my typical ultra-practical, not particularly romantic manner, I responded, "Well, we went to Ikea together last week by ourselves. I'm pretty sure that was a date. And then we went grocery shopping together by ourselves yesterday, and I'm pretty sure that was a date too. So we might as well admit that we're dating." And that was that. 

We didn't tell anyone right away (with the exception of my best friend, who got a voicemail at two in the morning when I was driving home, which explains why we're friends, and my mom the next morning, since I didn't want to freak her out by calling in the middle of the night), but a week or two later we acquired matching sunburns as the result of a kayaking trip and the secret was out. 

Kayak trip selfie

I even took a picture of the sunburn for my mom.

This is why I now wear SPF 100.

And four years later, I can safely say that saying yes that night was the best decision I ever made.

Photo credit: Peter Morse

Photo credit: Leighanne Evelyn Photography

Polo Sans Marco

Despite having lived on the North Shore for 8+ years now, I had never made it to the local-ish polo country club. That all changed this past weekend when some friends put a group together and invited us along. I learned some things:

1. Polo is a sport designed for the top 0.0001%. If you're able to afford the four to six horses you personally need to have in order to play the game, you are most likely managing a hedge fund in Boston during the work week. 
2. Polo provided an excellent opportunity to throw the word "plebeians" around in normal conversation.
3. Polo has given me an excuse to go find myself the perfect fascinator.

I couldn't tell you any of the rules, but the point of the game is that there are four players on each side who all try to hit the ball through two goal posts while on horseback. If you understand that much, watching polo is an enjoyable experience. 

Yes, Myopia Polo is the real name of the place, and yes, it was named after nearsightedness.

While the wise among us fit right in with the bourgeoisie throngs, SOME of us (who, me?) didn't even try and played papparazzi instead.

I'm secretly hoping that if I spend enough time around the polo fields, I'll learn the ways of the highest echelon of society so that I can learn how to be supremely classy like Kate Middleton, but for now I'm still the one eating ice cream while everyone else drinks chilled white wine.

Holy freckles.

This guy seems to have pulled off the classy vibe without even trying though, so maybe I can just learn from him.

Overall, I'd highly recommend going to see a match! It isn't free to drive and park, but someone among our group just walked in and didn't get charged. I'm not sure that's legal, but it's certainly possible. There were a number of kids present, and all of them really liked watching the horses, and because it's easy to tell when someone scores, it was fun for them to get into the sporting aspect of it as well. Games are at 3:00 on Sunday afternoons, and halfway through the event, you get to help the players out by stomping the divots back into the ground. It's either a fun community participation factor or free mass labor - your choice!

Fun blurry phone pic...hip hip hooray!

As a bonus, you get to hang out with folks like this guy:

But if you ask me, the horses are the stars of the show. Cheerio!

Traveling Solo

I used to dread going on business trips by myself. It meant that I needed to talk for an entire work day and then either sit alone at a restaurant ("Party of one? Come this way!") or grab food from the grocery store and eat it back at the hotel. Actually, come to think of it, those things haven't changed at all. But lately I've come to appreciate the fact that business tripping by myself means that I have the evenings (after catching up on work) to do whatever the heck sounds like fun without worrying about whether someone else might find it entertaining. 

On this particular trip, that meant wandering around downtown Seattle while ignoring all hunger pangs and the urge to find a restroom in favor of taking pictures. 

It was a beautiful night; who needs food when you can wander? I mean...eventually, I did...but I was glad no one else was around because I didn't eat until 9:30 pm. And I got my dinner at Target in the form of microwaveable chicken tiki masala. Super high class over here...

In addition, without Chaz around to tell me to go to sleep at a normal hour, I typically stay up until I feel like I don't have anything else I could possibly do. That usually means that I binge watch TV shows (ahem...Parenthood, I'm looking at you...) until I can't keep my eyes open.  

Given the fact that I have zero bedtime self control, I wind up heading home with a significant sleep deficit. And then I feel old, because in college, I did that on the daily for a full semester - went to bed at midnight, woke up at 6:30. And I was fine! Now if I try to do that for more than one to two days, I can barely function. 

So I guess I'll never learn, because here I sit at 11:47pm blogging instead of sleeping despite the fact that I need to be up at 6:00 tomorrow. But hey...at least you got to see what Seattle looks like when it's not raining, right? 

DIY No-Sew Reupholstery: Advice from an Unqualified Amateur

Around the time when we moved into the house, we were looking for cheapish but nice quality furniture on Craigslist. Lo and behold, we found an ad for a Crate and Barrel loveseat in reasonable condition (a stain on the seat and a small tear on the top side) for $100. So we forked over the cash, stuck the loveseat in the back of the Uhaul we'd rented to move, and brought it back to our basement until I could figure out what to do with it. 

I had realized quickly after bringing it home that the tear on the top was more of a hole - a needle and thread jobber wasn't going to cut it. Or rather fix it...seeing as it was already cut...hardy-har-har. My choices were either slipcovering or reupholstering, so it sat in the basement for a good three months until this weekend, when I finally decided the time had come! Here's what I started with:

Please pardon the lighting...minimal fluorescent light at 10:00 pm doesn't make for good photos!

I didn't really like the original color, so I started thinking about fabrics. Finally, I stumbled upon a pinteresting suggestion: painting drop cloths! The fabric is tough, the color is neutral, and the price is cheap. Win win win! Even if I messed up, it wouldn't matter, because I could just get another one. I picked up two drop cloths at Home Depot and got to work. 

I started from the back of the loveseat and started cutting out pieces based on the shape. Once I had some pieces, I just started pinning them on to the loveseat. It took some trial and error - as it turned out, starting from the back was actually a terrible idea, since the back needed to be the last piece so that it could cover any loose edges. (Figures...my luck at guessing is so bad that the SAT class teacher at my high school back in the day told me that I'd be better off just leaving SAT questions blank, seeing as so many of my random guesses were wrong!)

After I pinned all that I could pin, it was time to attach the pieces to the frame of the loveseat. I started with a staple gun, but evidently I had bad luck at guessing again, and the one I had picked at random at Home Depot wasn't nearly powerful enough to punch staples through wood. Plan B: picture-hanging nails + a hammer! The nails were small enough that they weren't really noticeable, and the hammer worked far better than the staple gun. 

Poor sad, blurry phone photo...

And so, after much hammering at 1:00 in the morning, the loveseat was covered! Chaz tried it out...

...and since he approved, we hoisted it up two flights of stairs.

It's definitely not perfect, but I think it's a significant improvement upon the original! And if you want to do it yourself, here's what to do:

1. Acquire a piece of furniture. 

2. Gather your materials: 

• Furniture item (one)
• Drop cloths/fabric (estimate yardage)
• Straight pins (many)
• Hammer (one)
• Small nails (a lot)

3. Tuck your fabric into the crevices of the furniture item, making sure that the grain of the fabric is straight (otherwise you'll end up with diagonal lines, and unless that's what you're going for, it probably won't look great). Cut the fabric to fit the shape of the area you're working on, leaving about three inches of extra to fold under and attach to the frame of the furniture item.

4. Pin your fabric pieces to the furniture item, following the lines of the furniture to guide which fabric pieces should get attached first. Keep in mind that your last piece will be the one that covers the most rough edges from other sides, which most likely means the back should be last.

5. When all your pins are in place, grab your hammer and nails and start replacing pins with nails. I found I was too ambitious in pinning, so I needed fewer nails than pins.

6. When all the nails are holding all the fabric pieces in place, step back, put your hands on your hips, and smile with satisfaction.

So there you have it: how to reupholster a piece of furniture without sewing a stitch. 

House Ownership: The Project Edition

After almost two months of owning a house, I've discovered that I enjoy house projects a bit too much for my own good. Since we moved in on May 14th, we've painted two rooms, laid flooring in one room, hemmed some curtains, made other curtains, made some pillows, and put together a photo wall. My next project in line is to make a dining room table, although I'm a little concerned that in attempting that, I might bite off more than I can chew, as they say.

Noooooo more mustard yellow for us!

The projects might be more impressive if I said that we'd managed to put all of our stuff away, but I can't - half of the garage is still full of boxes, and they won't be moving in the very near future as far as I can tell.

A rather unimpressive photo of the photo wall...

Of all the projects though, the least visible one takes the cake as my favorite: the laundry room! With the exception of moving the washer and dryer, I did all the work myself: two coats of paint, moisture barrier, flooring, and curtains (don't assume too much: I bought the curtains!). One day I'd love to redo the ceiling...but one step at a time, I suppose.

The room started out as an ugly brown with cement flooring and a messy original paint job. I was determined to rid the room of ugly brown at the very least, so I got some seafoam green paint and covered it all up.

Work in progress

As soon as the paint was dry, I decided that wasn't enough to make it look good, and that it needed some nice new flooring to make it better. So I Google until I felt like I had enough information, and then I went and bought some fake wood laminate flooring that would withstand any water that might spew from a washing machine we were planning to hook up ourselves.

Overall, I was very pleased with how it turned out. This particular flooring was really easy to use. It was tongue and groove, which meant that each piece snapped into the others and as long as I cut it right, everything lined up perfectly. But despite being pleased with how it turned out, I took zero pictures of the final product, so you'll have to live with this oddly-colored, poorly composed, boring picture of mostly just a floor with the remaining moisture barrier poking out and a little violent turquoise thrown in for good measure:

What a tragedy. I'll taka another picture soon to put everyone out of their misery.

Here's to home improvement.

The Best Blueberry Muffins

For years and years, my dad tried to find the perfect blueberry muffin recipe. It was rather unsuccessful. He made a lot of muffins with a lot of different techniques, but sadly...they never quite tasted like bakery muffins. It's not that they were bad, but they just never quite reached the golden standard: the muffins at the Cottage Street Bakery in Cape Cod. 

Fast forward until now, when Google is everyone's best friend. 

We found the perfect blueberry muffin recipe, and all our years of searching are over. All it took was a search for "best blueberry muffin recipe" (using "best" in my recipe searches have always yielded excellent results), and EUREKA. There it was. I texted my dad, and now both the Woodstocks and the Griffins have experienced the muffin victory.

All that nonsense and I only took one lousy picture of the thing. Enjoy.

Since these muffins will absolutely make an appearance in our home again sometime soon, I'll do better next time. This picture was solely to text to my dad to show that we were both going to be eating them at the same time. 

And in case you want in on the secret, here's the recipe. They are magical and you must make them right this instant. Go.

The Office Pepper

I really like gardening. It's pretty satisfying to grow something from a small seed (or in my case... seedlings; let someone else do the really hard work) all the way up to a REAL plant, with vegetables and stuff. I also like bell peppers. Preferably green, but red, yellow, orange, or any other variety is also acceptable.

Last year, I bought three pepper seedlings from Home Depot - two that would produce green peppers, and one that would produce red peppers. One seedling died in my car, because it fell over. I carried the remaining two up the stairs to our apartment, and then placed the second green one on the steps while I fished out my keys. It was only after a week that I realized that my second green pepper was missing. I had never picked it up from the stairs, and apparently the upstairs neighbors decided it wasn't the perfect adornment for the center of their second to last step and disposed of it. I secretly hope that they felt bad for the poor pepper, took it in, and fed and watered it, but I don't know that for sure. Nevertheless, I use that scenario to comfort myself when I start feeling bad for abandoning it to the wilds of a second-floor landing.

The third pepper survived. Red must be heartier than green. Or you could conclude that I just started taking better care of my plants. Whatever floats you boat. I brought it into my office, and I put it in a pot, and I watered it every day. It grew big and tall, though it was plagued with horrible gnats for awhile. Eventually, it grew its first pepper.

The first pepper got to be about two inches long. Then, one day, I went to squish one of those godforsaken gnats, knocked the pepper's stalk, and broke off the pepper's stem. Alas.

Over time, it grew another pepper. This one grew to be about an inch before it just gave up on life, and stayed as a one-inch pepper until it loosed itself from its stem and fell to the abyss of the pot beneath it.

Finally, we moved offices. The pepper plant LOVED its newly discovered exposure to sunlight, and it happily grew a third pepper. It was a hardy pepper, and it outlasted all its other brethren, until one day it was ripe. I picked it, brought it home, and turned it into part of a fajita. It was delicious.

And that is the story of the office pepper. It has also become about 4.5 feet tall and has more buds, so stay tuned for more riveting updates as the plant becomes bountiful once again.

How to Handle Itinerary Changes Like a True Type B

About a month ago (or so), I won the business trip lottery and got to go to Norway. Norway has been on my countries-to-visit bucket list for approximately 21 of my 26 years, starting when I learned that my great grandmother had been born there. Since she married another Norwegian, I get to call myself a quarter of a Viking.

Since it was a business trip, it almost meant I had to travel by myself. But despite that, I decided to leave on Friday instead of Sunday so that I got to spend an extra day and a half touring around. My original travel plans went like this:

• Fly to Oslo through London (1.5 hour layover)
• Catch a train from Oslo to Bergen (7-hour train ride)
• Spend the night in Bergen
• Spend the morning in Bergen until noon
• Catch the train back to Oslo from Bergen
• Eat dinner
• Sleep
• Work

Due to a number of various things (extra-long security in Heathrow, getting up early, missing a train), my actual trip went like this (overlaps highlighted):

• Fly to London
• Stand in a useless security line for .75 hours
• Miss flight to Oslo by a single minute
• Realize there's no possible way for me to catch the train
• Tell the customer service person to fly me to Bergen instead
• Realize I now have an 8-hour layover in London
• Head into London for the morning/afternoon
• Fly to Bergen
• Spend the night in Bergen
• Resolve to get up early and get an earlier train to Oslo
• Miss earlier train to Oslo, but realize there's another an hour later stopping at Myrdaal
• Hang out in Bergen for an hour
• Take the train to Myrdaal
• Realize I have three hours between trains
• Find out I have just enough time to take another train to a town at the bottom of a fjord (Flåm)
• Go to Flåm for 20 minutes
• Return to Myrdaal
• Wait for 40 minutes to catch the Myrdaal - Oslo train
• Make it to Oslo
• Eat dinner
• Sleep
• Work

As a result of my ultra-spontaneous route, I ended up being REALLY thankful I was traveling by myself. Going solo also meant that I had no one of my personal acquaintance to witness when I totally wiped out while standing up on the train resulting in bruises for weeks, so...#blessed.

I know what you've really been waiting for is pictures, so I'll stop waxing eloquentish here and just put those up instead.

Brief stop in Notting Hill...

...with a run to Portobello Road Market.

The train to Flam...

...where I caved on my loose no-selfie policy.

Back in Myrdaal, waiting for the train to Oslo.

On the train to Oslo...

...over the very top of mountains!

Sometimes there were houses up there.

And I finally made it Oslo, where there was an ancient fortress.

The end!

Lately in the Woodstock Household...

...we actually have a house in which to have a household! How 'bout that.

This whole shindig went down pretty fast. We started looking at houses sometime in March, and for about two weeks, we didn't see anything. One Saturday we sat down, took a look at Zillow, and found this one. There was an open house the following day, which was the first "showing." The pictures looked pretty nice, but based on others we'd seen so far, we didn't get our hopes up too high.

On Sunday, we went to the open house, and we just KNEW. We called our realtor on the way home, had an offer in that afternoon, and had it accepted that night. After that, we wrote a check for what felt like our life savings, moved out of our little apartment and across a few towns, and as of May 14th, started calling this new place our home.

Moving itself was a four-day-long extravaganza. My arms were sore for days afterward, but I guess there were SOME exciting moments. Chaz learned to drive a big truck, for example:

We also had some very gracious helpers, and they successfully acquired and moved a piano:

We spent a good number of hours cleaning:

And after that we spent more hours putting things away (an on-going project, if I'm being honest):

We've also spent an unmeasurable amount of time at Home Depot:

But despite all of that, we're exceptionally grateful to have a more permanent roof over our heads, a place to host family and friends, and a lovely domicile to transform into a home..one emptied box at a time.

A Resolution

It seems like everyblogger and her (or his?) mother jumped on the Whole30 train at the beginning of January, if not sometime earlier in 2014. Late last year I had looked it up, read about it, got mostly convinced, sorta half started, and then quit when I realized I wanted potato chips when Chaz and I grabbed a sandwich for lunch. None of this Whole30 stuff for me anymore! I said.

But then January hit, and everyone ELSE started doing it, and I felt especially full of post-holiday-eating-distress (aka...beached whale), so I gave in, rolled my eyes, and jumped in with no pre-planning. So far, I've managed to keep up eating no sugar, dairy, gluten, or carbs for a full seven days, and I've now been forced to admit that it does indeed actually make a difference. Consider me humbled.

Now, I BY NO MEANS consider myself a naturally healthy eater. I love cookies like nobody's business. I'm also a somewhat picky eater, and I despise/loath/abhor seafood, which ruled out a whole category of things that I could eat for 30 days. So I guess the only thing I'm here to say is that this whole business is entirely doable for anyone with a rather...stereotypically American palate like me. Here's what I've been eating:

• Eggs. A MILLION eggs. Literally. A million (aka 17 in seven days).
• Bacon.
• Taco salad with guacamole.
• Beef stew.
• Pork chops (delicious... just discovered a new recipe!).
• Roasted vegetables.
• A sad, last-minute attempt at chicken curry.
• Salad.

And there you have it. I love eggs, so the egg thing is not a problem for me. But I suppose if you're not a big egg fan, breakfast would be a lot more difficult.

Chaz is not doing this with me. Therefore I eat eggs, and he eats pizza, and I am jealous. BUT. I will say that it has significantly improved a) feeling less whale-ish, b) having more energy, c) sleeping well, and d) overall well being. So there you have it. I guess it's worth it and what everyone else is saying is true. Who knew?